Managing Disagreements
Expect them
I have had both “good” colleagues and bosses and “bad” ones in situations where we worked together for long periods of time.
In international surge missions time is tight and tasks are urgent. Yet we still deal with interpersonal dynamics, in addition to the challenge of new and mixed cultures.
Differences in cultures, personalities and working styles can be powerful and useful. They contain the potential to enrich personal and group strength and to enhance communications, creativity and task effectiveness.
Differences can also have negative personal and productivity impacts. They can lead to bad decisions, bullying, low morale, wasted talent and a crippling of project outcomes.
Why are international offices crucibles for tension?
We are there because there is an emergency. We are pressed to have a quick and positive impact. Everyone is in a state of high alert and feeling the pressure to make a difference.
Tensions and misunderstandings can arise with local team members who have a longer-term perspective than ours and established ways of getting things done in their unique national and cultural environment.
For us, our reputation and future employability as experts depend on our “success” in each assignment. We feel the pressure to push hard and have visible impact.
International workplaces bring together a wide range of management and work styles influenced by culture and personalities. We may be surprised by a highly qualified person who does things in a very different way. Each of us “knows” that our way is right and natural and it is easy to think that there is something deficient about the way others are approaching urgent tasks.
Days are long. Weeks are long. Fatigue and a collective downplaying of self-care (too little sleep, poor diet, long work days, little exercise, few mental or emotional balancing breaks) accumulate and no one is at their best.
As situational and institutional contexts shift and evolve, policies and priorities may seem volatile and unpredictable.
How differences in culture and personalities manifest themselves
Cultural differences:
All cultures experience disagreements. All cultures are correct within themselves in the way they deal with conflict. However, tensions can arise when different customs meet.
One culture may avoid overt expression of tension in order to preserve “face” and relationships. Body or behavioural signs will be apparent within their own cultural community but hard to spot for others. Another may express feelings emphatically, immediately and directly.
One culture may be task oriented, pushing for quick and visible results. Another may choose to invest in relationships and mentoring, feeling that will produce more sustainable outcomes. This can even be seen in something as basic as office arrival rituals. One person may plunge directly into work while others spend time greeting and chatting with everyone from the guard at the gate to the boss.
The experience of encountering different cultures is one of the biggest rewards we earn as international workers. We are enriched by new understandings about ourselves and others. We grow ever more effective at recognizing and benefiting from the differences we encounter. Learning about local and foreign cultures’ ways of being and doing is one of the primary avenues to professional and personal success.
Personality:
Every human is unique, even within their own cultural context. It is easy to get along with folk who are like us. It is also easy to misunderstand the motivations and behaviours of those whose ways of being and doing are different from ours. As with culture, recognizing and using the strengths of a wide range of personality types is one of the keys to building a successful work team.
Workplace personalities are sometimes described with the acronym “DISC.” “D” type personalities are Drivers, tending to be assertive, decisive and direct. “I”s are Influencers – creative, personable and expressive. “S”s are Supporters, individuals who are collaborative, patient and stabilizing. “C” types, the “Conscientious” are the analysts, detailed, often more introverted and perfectionist. A quickly decisive Driver could frustrate (or be frustrated by) a detail oriented, perfectionist analyst. When they are able to recognize one another for their gifts, actions will be stronger. So it is among all types.
In long term office environments there is time for such appreciations to grow. In rapidly transitioning surge assignments there is less time and more pressure. Productivity and comfort will increase with investments in trusting and working to understand both cultural and personality differences.
What to do
Listen with empathy. Look beyond presentation to understand needs and interests.
Each of us wants to know that we are recognized for our needs and interests. When that happens it makes space for others’ needs and interests to be recognized as well. Focusing on what we have in common allows us to move beyond the tensions created by our differences in culture, personality or working styles and focus on creative ways to address our shared work and life needs.
Recognize the pressures another person is feeling, then help them to recognize yours. One person may feel the need to create a budget by a deadline while we feel the need to invest more time in planning for a sustainable intervention. Both needs have merit.
Advice from other surge colleagues
Experienced surge colleagues made these additional suggestions:
“Think of problematic coworkers as colleagues with whom you share a problem to be solved.
Put yourself in their shoes. Ask them to describe the situation and possible solutions. As you listen to them, they will be more able to listen to you.”
“It is okay to set sights lower than your perfectly desired outcome. Come up with plans that you both can live with.”
“Be curious. It feels much better than becoming resigned and pessimistic or getting stuck in defensive fight mode. Curiosity leads to creativity”.
“Respect that you have boundaries. If you come from a culture where touching is uncommon and a colleague’s home culture is more physical, explain that while remaining true to yourself.”
“Invest in your own wellbeing and encourage others to do the same. Without breaks from work, good food, exercise and sleep, stress and tension will grow and the quality of work will drop.”
“Share and explore your feelings with trusted friends or colleagues, and know that CANADEM deployment officers and your CANADEM Duty of Care contact person are excellent sounding boards.”
